I've been mulling over Fr. Z's sermon about reconciliation. There are relationships that I wish could be reconciled, but I am so unsure about the other person's openness to reconciliation.
The books and articles I've read about forgiveness almost all say that sometimes reconciliation just isn't possible. So I wonder, how do I reconcile with another person when I don't even know if the other person wants to reconcile? What would a reconciled relationship look like? It certainly can't return to the old, unhealthy status quo. And I know it's not merely tolerance of the other person's presence in the world.
I puzzled over this for a while when an idea occurred to me: I can't control the other person's desire to reconcile. This is something that I can't work on or make happen. God is the reconciler; Jesus, the mediator. The best I can do is to forgive -- truly forgive -- the other person. Then, be open to God's reconciling work.
As I've often heard, we can only work on ourselves; and then only with God's help. I can allow God to mold me into the woman he wants me to be, and let Him be in charge of the reconciliation. I'm guessing that's my part in what St. Paul calls "the ministry of reconciliation."
Well, that's my stab at it. Of course, I could be wrong.
Blessings to you,