Maundy Thursday 2011

Maundy Thursday, also called Holy Thursday, is the commemoration of Jesus' Last Supper with his disciples. It is the event that we remember when we participate in the Eucharist, or Holy Communion.

The Revised Common Lectionary includes 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 in the appointed readings:

23 For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took a loaf of bread, 24and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, ‘This is my body that is for* you. Do this in remembrance of me.’ 25In the same way he took the cup also, after supper, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.’ 26For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

The Episcopal Lectionary, which The Episcopal Church has replaced with the RCL, also included verses 27-32 as an option:

27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be answerable for the body and blood of the Lord. 28Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29For all who eat and drink* without discerning the body,* eat and drink judgment against themselves. 30For this reason many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.* 31But if we judged ourselves, we would not be judged. 32But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined* so that we may not be condemned along with the world.

I wish those verses had remained in the reading, at least as an option. They tell us that with Communion comes responsibility and accountability. We cannot simply take in Christ’s Body and Blood as some kind of spiritual fuel. We need to be aware of the state of our minds and hearts if we choose to bind ourselves to Christ. Pretending to be part of Christ, by receiving Communion in an unworthy manner, is something we do at our own peril.

The Disciplinary Rubrics of the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer (1979) address this matter in their instructions to priests concerning Communion. We laypeople should be aware of these rubrics and use them as a guide to discern the state of our spiritual readiness for Communion.

If the priest knows that a person who is living a notoriously evil life intends to come to Communion, the priest shall speak to that person privately, and tell him that he may not come to the Holy Table until he has given clear proof of repentance and amendment of life.

The priest shall follow the same procedure with those who have done wrong to their neighbors and are a scandal to the other members of the congregation, not allowing such persons to receive Communion until they have made restitution for the wrong they have done, or have at least promised to do so.

When the priest sees that there is hatred between members of the congregation, he shall speak privately to them, telling them that they may not receive Communion until they have forgiven each other.

And if the person or persons on one side truly forgive the others and desire and promise to make up for their faults, but those on the other side refuse to forgive, the priest shall allow those who are penitent to come to Communion, but not those who are stubborn.

In all such cases, the priest is required to notify the bishop, within fourteen days at the most, giving the reasons for refusing Communion.

As I stated before, I wish the additional verses in the reading from Corinthians had not been removed. We have a responsibility, when we take in Christ himself in the form of spiritual food and drink, to truly desire to follow him. We show that desire by living in accord with our neighbors and being truly repentant when we have wronged God, our neighbors and ourselves.

Hmmm...

Veiled from head to toe
A gauzy film covering my eyes
No one sees me,
And I can't see them.
(See clearly, that is.)
It doesn't matter if the sky is clear
Or if the clouds are out
It's all the same gray.

What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.

The verse is Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Reflecting upon our parish stewardship efforts has led me to these conclusions:
- It's not just about money, but how money is spent reflects what's important.
- We have bills to pay and outreach to accomplish and both require money.
- Time and talent are also important aspects of participating in the life of the parish.
*** Get my relationship with God right, and everything else -- including my relationships with other people -- will fall into place. ***

Ever feel like the message is the same, just presented in different ways?

I'm not saying it's not necessary to hear it over and over (I know better!). Just find it interesting that for all our so-called maturity, intellect and knowledge, it is necessary to hear the same message over and over.

New Year, New Beginnings

Well, it's been a while since we last chatted. Big changes have happened since then which have kept me hopping. The biggest one is that I got a new teaching job. It's a Pre-K position at Trinity Christian Preschool. I have a foot in both worlds -- day care and teaching, since I work at a preschool, so I don't have the planning time most teachers do, but it's TEACHING, and I'm so excited about that! Got the classroom organized and decorated a bit this morning and lesson plans written, just a few more supplies to gather and I'm good to go for week one!

The fall begins a new school year, and as such, has some similarities to the actual new year that happens in January. We move from the leisurely chaos of summer to the more structured "vibe" of the new academic year, whether we actually work in education or not.

I did a lot of organizing in my new classroom. I went through the shelves and disposed of a great deal of junk. We teachers are notorious pack rats. We're always thinking, "This might be good for an activity." So there are lots of paper scraps, odd, broken containers, games with missing pieces, and so forth that accumulate in a classroom over time.

The other big change is that my choir director from my old church took the directing position at my present church, St. George Episcopal. (I've decided to go ahead and name my present church, as I'm no longer in such a sensitive situation such as that with my old church -- which shall remain unnamed.) The music program has blossomed under his leadership and nurturing. We're singing more challenging pieces and the music seems to be resonating with the congregation. It's good to know that our efforts are helping bring people closer to God.

Grandson S, is growing in -- literally -- leaps and bounds. Almost 3, he is an imaginative chatterbox, who will strike up a conversation with anyone. He begins preschool this week, so we're very glad that he'll be present for the Blessing of the Backpacks at church this Sunday. Can't believe we had to buy school supplies for the boy. Seems like yesterday that he was just a little baby! The little man recently got his own bedroom. He's so proud of his room and his big boy bed. It's decked out in Toy Story, Cars (the Disney movie) and all the things a little boy loves -- tools, cars, bunnies, kitties, dragons...

The time passes so fast. I want to spend as much time as I can in these moments.

Along with the new year, there has been a little of the bittersweet as I clean out the junk here at home. Going through reams of paper, I found printed copies of email from Fr. X, from when he was my spiritual director. So much good conversation about the spiritual nature of things, the Church, and just stuff. I felt a twinge of sadness that it all fell apart. It seemed so avoidable. After acknowledging the feeling, I gathered the old papers and tossed them in the trash. Letting go has been a process. Disposing of those found notes was another step.

Still trying to get my bearings on the new job. It's definitely a new adventure every day!

Blessings,
E

Insanity is...

...doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I love the Seinfeld episode that illustrates this saying: The Opposite.

Here's a clip.

So here's to Opposite Day! Hear, hear!

My goodness! I can't leave May with only one lonely blog entry! So here's another one to keep the first one company.

Some years ago, I wrote quite a bit of poetry. I was even a member of a monthly poetry group. Lots of painful stuff happened then, and pain can be quite the muse for poetry, and writing in general.

Today, I felt inspired to write a poem. Nothing particularly painful happened, rather, more of a wistful wondering, based on a chance encounter with a neighbor. It's a first draft, so likely it'll go through a few revisions before I feel like it's done. But here goes:

"Sunflowers"

Looking over the fence today,
A neighbor was working in his yard.
Not much different from my own
Tending the lawn,
Separating the despised weeds
From the soft, green grass.

As I watered my grass,
I noticed a tall bunch of sunflowers
Growing in the corner of my neighbor's yard.
Lovely plants -- they reminded me of the blooms
I once received as a gift.
So, so tall --
The bright flowers rose higher than the fence.

Then I realized what my neighbor was doing.
The flowers disappeared, a few at a time.
I heard the sound of cutting,
And I knew that these were not to be kept.
They were counted among the weeds,
A nuisance, something to be rid of.

I wondered why he would choose to dispose of them.
They chose his yard to grow in --
So fortunate -- to have such pretty flowers
Without even trying.
Was there something in their beautiful wildness
That he was afraid to keep?

It was a shame to waste something so lovely.
I thought I should ask for a few cuttings to keep in my yard.
But good manners averted such presumption.

So sadly I spied the corner again.
No longer did the yellow blossoms smile upon me.
I wondered why I spent so much time caring for something that didn't belong
When God's beautiful provision was cast aside.

(end of poem -- for now)

Just wondering...you know?

Happy Eastertide! Happy Mothers' Day! And Some Random Thoughts

Lots of hanging with the family, but I thought I'd check in here while I have the chance.

I hope you are all having a most blessed Eastertide, and to the moms (in whatever form that takes): Happy Mothers' Day!

To celebrate, we're going out to dinner at a local Brazilian steakhouse. Gaucho waiters with spears of delectable meats. Can you say, "Mmmm! Mmmm!"?

Now for the random musing: If you've read the previous entries, you know that I had a tumultuous leave-taking from my old church. Thankfully, things have settled down and life has been relatively drama-free for almost a year now.

Today I met with Fr. Y and another parishioner regarding the leadership of a lay ministry. One thing that struck me was Fr. Y's expectation that participants in this ministry be regular attenders of our church. That is, attending on the days other than the ones in which they would serve. That sounded quite reasonable, and I said so in our conversation.

Now, the reason this stood out for me is that in the midst of my discernment (which, in hindsight, was what was happening), I had stopped being a regular attender of my old church. Granted, I didn't miss many Sundays, but even the ones in which I was physically present, my heart was no longer there.

I said that to say this: Perhaps Fr. X at my old church was not so out of line to remove me from certain ministries. However -- and this is a big however -- it could have been handled so much more sensitively at a pastoral level. It was such an emotionally charged situation -- with not only a pastoral relationship, but a personal friendship at stake. Things were said that never should have been said, and unfortunately, neither relationship was strong enough to weather the crisis.

These thoughts come up because of the scars that are still present from the experience. But it's not a consuming thing, and the quiet I now have in my life is so very welcome.

This verse from the Bible speaks to me:

I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. Joel 2:25 ESV

God is restoring so much in my life in the Church. Over the past several years, He has restored much in my personal life. God is so good. I give thanks to Him.

Alleluia! Alleluia!