So, Here's What I Think...

“Liminal”…it’s a word that I thought I had imagined as I groped for something to describe "being neither in one place nor in another."  However, recently I have found this word, “liminal,” as I did my usual surfing about the Web, skipping in ADHD fashion from one topic to another.  Finally – confirmation of this word that even sounds tentative.  I have had many liminal times in my life.  Sometimes it’s a feeling of being completely outside of normal time and space, and other times (usually) it’s only one aspect of my life that’s in a liminal state.  One example of a liminal period is when I wrestled with the idea of leaving the church where I first embraced the Anglican expression of Christian faith.  I no longer felt I belonged there, but neither did I belong anywhere else, yet.  When I think back on that time and other liminal times, the main image I get is one of searching , seeking something, somewhere, but oftentimes not even knowing exa...

I have been a member of the Altar Guild for as long as I have been an Episcopalian.  That would be about 11 years now. The Altar Guild is a worship ministry in a given parish that is devoted to the care and setting up of worship-related items.  One regular duty of the Altar Guild is to set up the altar for Sunday worship services.  Following each service, members clean up the sacred vessels and prepare linens for laundering.  Since the priest is the person charged with making sure corporate worship is both organized and uplifting, the Altar Guild follows his or her (in the Episcopal Church, women can be priests) lead in how things are arranged and maintained. One priest gave me this bit of guidance that has served me well for many years, and not just for the arrangement of church items.  He said, "One important thing we have to do as ministers, is to take away anything that distracts people from worshiping God," whether it's a sloppy fringe on an altar...

Psalm 121 I lift up my eyes to the hills, From where is my help to come? My help comes from the Lord, The maker of heaven and earth. From The Psalter of the Book of Common Prayer 1979 Find the complete psalm here: http://www.missionstclare.com/english/psalm/psalters.html The psalm is one of comfort and encouragement, and has been one of my go-to psalms when I need assurance of God's presence and protection.  Years ago, I made myself a pocket card so I can carry these words with me. When I'm faced with a particularly daunting challenge, I am reminded of God's presence in the form of these words.  They are, simultaneously, a warm blanket (The Bible is not a "warm fuzzies" book – be glad when you do find a warm, fuzzy section.) and strong armor, preparing me to meet whatever trials I may encounter. Do you find comfort and strength in the Psalms?  Which ones speak to you?

In the Revised Common Lectionary used by the Episcopal Church, one of the Old Testament readings for this week is the following: Jeremiah 1:4-10 The word of the LORD came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." Then I said, "Ah, Lord GOD! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a boy'; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you, Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD." Then the LORD put out his hand and touched my mouth; and the LORD said to me, "Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and over kingdoms, to pluck up and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant." (From  http://www.lectionaryp...

This happened many years ago.  I hope I've become less prejudiced since then. There was a time, when I was a Catholic (I'm an Episcopalian now), when I was between churches.  I wanted the faith experience of a liturgical service, but I was struggling with the Catholic Church's teachings on certain topics, such as human sexuality and women's roles in the Church. A friend had invited me to a Mass hosted by a organization of gay Catholics (a group of Catholics but not officially sanctioned by the Catholic Church) called Dignity.  There was a rotation of diocesan priests that led the Mass.   So here I am, surveying my surroundings, waiting for the Mass to begin, when I see a scruffy old gentleman with a bit of stubble take a seat not too far away.  Since he was evidently in silent prayer, people gave him his space.  I thought, "How nice that these people are so accepting of anyone who walks in, especially a homeless person like this man." I spent a few ...

Stability Stability is a virtue that is at odds with our culture.  We want it all and we want it “yesterday.”  With microwaves, high-speed Internet, email and instant everything, we have lost the ability to be patient and wait.   In my own life, this impatience often manifests itself in expecting a same-day response to an email sent in the morning. (Update: This impatience also manifests itself in expecting an immediate response to a new Facebook status or link.) Monastic stability consists of centeredness, commitment and relationships (Chittister, Wisdom 150). To be centered is to have our center focused on something larger than ourselves – to be where God is and to know that God is where we are.  Recently I wrote a poem that describes my own longing for centeredness.    Looking for You I climb a ladder to reach you, Deep inside my spirit. The night stars twinkle, Dazzling light illumines the way. I reach out my hand, My fist grasps only air. You can...

Conversion of Life Conversion of life – conversatio morum – is a person’s life-long process of being transformed as he follows Christ.  Thomas Merton described it as “A commitment to total inner transformation.”  In the Prologue, Benedict tells us “God in his love will show you the way of life.”  This is a call to metanoia , a real turning around of one’s life (de Waal, Seeking 69).  I remember in the midst of my deepest depression being faced with a decision – to allow my illness to define my identity – or to strive for true repentance, doing everything in my power to regain (and improve) my health. In my autobiography, I stated that Easter had become a Holy Day of profound significance for me.  Conversatio forces us to face death itself through a series of lesser deaths throughout our lives – such as the loss of health, relationships, abilities, possessions – until we reach that last, ultimate death.  But from death comes new life.  New patterns of...

I feel incredibly guilty for recycling old material for inclusion into the blog, but most days I've been so mentally exhausted that creativity comes  in the shortest of bursts.  Anyway, I think I have some pretty good material that hasn't been published, so now I'm letting it see the light of day.  The following posts will be excerpts from a reflection paper I wrote about the Rule of Benedict.  Click here for more information about St. Benedict . Obedience   When I hear the word “obedience,” I tend to imagine the soldier who obeys orders without question.  Obedience, in this sense, seems to require that one “checks in his mind at the door.”  So it seems that before I can promise to be obedient, I need to know “What is obedience?” Obedience has been defined as “holy listening.” The Prologue begins with the word, “Listen,” and continues with the instruction to listen “with the ear of your heart.”  But what do we listen to? First, we listen to G...

Dearest child, My wish for you is That you live your life Full of adventure, Eager to find the new and wonderful. Full of contentment, Striving for more, yet happy with what you have. Full of knowledge, Learning much, but knowing that some things are unknowable. Full of love, Loving others and being loved. Full of holiness, Certain that you are a child of God. I wish…That your life is full. 2013

No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.  1 Corinthians 10:13 For years, this verse has been one of my go-to verses when life's struggles seem like too much to handle.   It begins with the premise that whatever is causing my distress is nothing new.  I've heard of this similarity among people referred to as "terminal uniqueness."  That is, we're all unique up to a certain point.  God has seen situations like mine before.  He's handled these situations before.  It's nothing new to him. The next sentence is a statement of God's faithfulness.  Not only because it begins with the words, "God is faithful..." but also because it says that whatever we're facing, God will help us find a solution, a "way out", that will help us get through it.  I h...

Today's epistle (letter) from the Revised Common Lectionary was Galatians 1:1-12. I like reading the letters of the Bible.  The writers pull no punches when they outline what the problems are in a given community.  However, they don't just point out faults, they also empathize with their readers and tell them how to resolve their problems. This letter, attributed to St. Paul, was likely sent by courier to its intended congregation.  I wonder what it would be like today, if Paul Skyped the congregation.  The writing is so vivid, I can almost see him exhorting the congregation to turn away from the "different" (false) gospel and return to Christ.   This letter, like the others also shows that people, at the core, have not changed that much in two thousand years: "Am I now seeking human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ." This reading only covers ...

...priest, author, sociologist, complainer. Catholic priest, Father Andrew Greeley , died May 29 at the age of 85.  I don't have an extensive Greeley library, but his fiction and nonfiction works have given me much food for thought.  Father Greeley was a prolific author.  An extensive list of his books can be found here . Surprisingly, one paperback that did not make the book list was  Complaints Against God , a collection of essays, or "complaints," about issues ranging from Beethoven's Missa Solemnis to the End of Summer, and the Holy Roman Catholic Church.  The complaints, as a whole, address God with the understanding that God is omnipotent, and that there may be reasons for God's actions that are beyond our understanding.  In this sense, these complaints remind me of the Psalms.   Psalm 10 begins "Why do you stand so far off, O LORD, and hide yourself in time of trouble?"  Father Greeley's complaint number 20 tells God, "...you s...

I am writing this in response to Peter Pollock’s blog carnival topic of intimidation, or actually, letting go of intimidation.  I believe I can feel intimidated by life’s challenges when I think I don’t have what it takes to meet those challenges.  Sadly, I often feel “Not good enough.”   Then I learned a Swedish word – Lagom .  There is no direct English equivalent, but roughly, it means, “good enough”, “adequate”, “sufficient”, without the negative connotation of mediocrity or scarcity that surrounds our English words.  It sounds like a good philosophy to have.  For many times, we may not have more than others, but we have lagom .  And that is sufficient. Sometimes good enough is good enough. Wow!  What a hard time I have with that concept.  Our American culture is one of constant striving. We are never to be content with what we have.  Each person should aspire to be as the 70’s TV series “The Six Million Dolla...

A Quote from Ernest Hemingway I figure if I am going to identify myself as a writer I need to associate myself with other writers.  So, I've been joining writers' groups on LinkedIn and Facebook in order to see what others are doing in the profession. One of the first discussions I scanned started with this quote.  Of course, being a writers' group, the discussion focused on the editing and rewriting process.  I see the first draft as kind of a brainstorming draft -- getting the ideas out of my head and onto the screen or sheet of paper.  The editing and rewriting then refine that brainstorming draft, clarify the ideas, and make it so the reader can understand what I am trying to communicate. I do some editing on this blog.  But since it's supposed to reflect what's in my head in a given moment, I try to edit with a light hand, only changing what is absolutely necessary.  If there's a bit of stream-of-consciousness in here, I don't care as much. ...